Dave Matthews once said (and yes I am quoting Dave Matthews, and no I am not an asshole)
“The space between
The tears we cry is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more
The space between
The wicked lies we tell to keep us safe from the pain”
Yes that is where I live. In this space that only Dave Matthews seems to be able to define, you know what half the time I love it, the other half of the time I want to stab it with a fork. I mean I cry a lot a tears in this space and I laugh a shitload too, I also lie to myself like jillian michaels would completely approve of this burrito, and would totally consider running to catch the bus enough exercise for the day… Do you know that yesterday I actually dreamed of having a taco bell breakfast quesidilla and breakfast crunchwrap supreme, like it could just be Europe or I could need to institutionalize myself, like the actual f*ck? And can I tell you one thing, being single is WONDERFUL, the only thing thing that kills is this scenario, imagine you are a goose flying above the fields just doing your goose thing, straight goose chilling with a bottle of grey goose say whaddup to my goose homies, okay I took that way too far. Anyways, all the sudden out of nowhere you are struck, struck right in the feels, by a bullet and you drop to the ground just wondering why. Like no offense to white people, I consider myself a child of the light and of no race, but I mean you don’t see many other races going out and shooting geese for fun, like no one even likes to eat geese. We should just teach pigs and chickens how to fly so we can shoot them and enjoy eating them. Okay but I digress, like how did I even get to that point. So you are dying goose, how does this apply to my life and every other single person? Well imagine that bullet was a love song. (I hope this isn’t that hard for you guys to follow, the words are just like flowing at the moment) Okay so I was walking along in Munich the other night, just being myself, jolly, cute, fabulous etc. And all the sudden a love song came on my ipod, and I just listened to this guy sing about a girl he loved and I was like this sucks, I don’t know if anyone would ever sing me a song like this, like any guy that wants to be cuddled up in bed with me all day and listen to me giggle would probably have to be insane. Anyways, its that music, just gets you right in the feels. Seeing couples is whatever, I hate most people anyways so I move them to the top of the list, they look stupid mostly anyways so it is very easy (omg I just used an emoticon naturally, who am i…) Anyways back to this stupid space between, it is like I am stuck in between my child life and the rest of my life. I am just waiting for the rest of my life to begin, and I really don’t care about anything. I mean 2 days ago I was explaining to someone my theory on why I am single, because I love myself so much, I don’t have much room for anyone else, it really sounds awful, but I am 22 this is the ME time of my life, claire claire claire. I mean I think I am cute, hilarious, I mean I have said it before and I will say it again, I am in a fully commited relationship with myself, and I am completely content. Okay so I am content until I hear these songs… like i don’t even know if I would write a song for myself… I mean if I did It would be like, your a bitch, but you have a big heart… that is the worst song ever hahahahhah at least I can laugh at myself… Anyways I don’t know, do I avoid every love song, I mean I would literally have to delete half of my itunes because that is the only thing these stupid musicians talk about these days. Anyways, this is basically my life now, complete first world problem I know, but I guess I should enjoy it before I get tasked with having a real life and things like a job, marriage, and kids actually tie me down. I will just be my goose self, flying in the sky free, dodging bullets for as long as I can, and even when those songs sound great I can always go home and listen to my friends and how awful their significant other’s are and remind myself why I love my goose life. The single life is a big game of duck duck goose, eventually someone picks the goose, and then you have to chase after them like a bobbling idiot, but other times they let you catch them, so I mean till then…. But for now I can sit and listen to everyone else bitch about their relationshits and completely enjoy myself, and live the bachelorette life, simple and amazing. But if you know any handsome single guys that aren’t completely deranged or over the age of 30, send them over to play duck duck goose with me.
I love you but I am not in love with you (although I could be if you are handsome and single and pick me in duck duck goose)
p.s. this is how I try to attract mates stupid emoticons again. ugh.