Well, if you live under a rock then you may be shocked to learn that Kristen Stewart was caught cheating with her Snow White director (who is married with 2 kids). SMH, when I first heard the news I was delighted! Nothing better than blogging about the misfortune of celebrities, especially K-stew who is the only celebrity I dislike more than Tay Swift. But this is just ridiculous, two little kids involved, way to go Kristen, you really funked up this situation. On the bright side now Kristen has a reason to look miserable all the time, I mean she may need to flee the country, she is officially the most disliked person. But hey it makes my life easier because I have something to blog about.
Long story short, cheaters never win. They always get caught, and frankly cheating is not a good look on anyone, it makes you look tacky and classless, you may as well just put on a pair of fake Uggs and walk around with that colored Louis Vuitton purse you got on Canal street when you were 13. Grow a pair of cajones and just tell the person you want to be with other people. Like NBD people.
Now it wouldn’t be fair for me to place all the blame on Kristen, it is obviously this douchenozzles fault too, how are you going to ruin your marriage and the life of your children? Good thing you are rich so they can spend their teen years boozing their ruined childhoods away at the Beverly Hills Hotel with Lindsay Lohan and every other washed up celebrity. I mean this news is just so shocking to me, like did she think she wasn’t going to get caught, what an idiot. It is more surprising than when I found out Amy Jergen’s mom was gay on Secret Life of the American Teenager.
Honestly though, it’s as if everything makes sense now, were all thinking how the heck did Kristen Stewart get the part of Snow White, and secretly we were all like she is not that pretty… But now it all makes sense! The director wanted to sleep with her! Duhhh! Well that mystery has been solved and frankly I feel a bit better about my life.
But jeez honestly if anyone feels like they are having a bad day, Kristen’s is so much worse, so that should make you feel a bit better. I mean she just ruined her entire life and probably career, maybe Angelina Jolie can give her some tips on how to still live your life while being a home wrecker at the same time. I can only imagine how that conversation would go.
here are Brittany’s thoughts on the whole scandal “I am depressed, how, how, how, does that homely girl get multiple men and I know some quality women who can’t find one man… right? I’m pissed about it. I used to be obsessed with Rob Pattinson and used to not understand why he wouldn’t date me and she doesn’t even appreciate him. I’m pissed.”
Julie’s thoughts “no” (she is not one for pop kultur)
Here is the official statement :
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”
Kristen, don’t apologize for the embarrassment, because no one is more embarrassed than you, but I am embarrassed for you, so I guess you can keep the apologies coming my way. Also yeah I was really hurt, hurt from laughing so hard and smiling with a devilish excitement. Then I was sad, for the children, the wife, and dear sweet precious Rob. Then I was like omgosh totally need to step up my flirting game so I can get with that! And please girl your momentary indiscretion, I saw those pics, you were loving every second of it and it did not look momentary by any means. And yeah, you did lose Rob, I hope you did at least, if he comes crawling back into your miserable skeletor arms.
It really is just a darn shame… for her, me not so much, it actually works in my favor to have her disliked and for Rob to be single.
Hopefully Rob, the wife, and those precious children move on from this debacle okay.
And to Kristen and slutty director FOR SHAME! Shame shame shame on you.
A poem about Kristen
Kristen Stewart is a cheater
I like it when Rob wears a wife beater
She looks so sour
she would be no fun at happy hour
some may call her bella
but she sure can’t keep a fella
she says she loves him
but her love life is dim
she was in the panic room
and since then she did not bloom
she looks like a teenage boy
who never has fun or plays with toys
she is snow white
but her cheating isn’t right
she sucks real bad
but her life is now so sad
I love you but I am not in love with you